The Whomping Willows (Blog)

After debating with the ubiquitous WrockSnob over the meta-ness of Demons at the Helm for a few hours last night, I’m thinking a fun academic blog is in order.

In short, WrockSnob asserts that Demons at the Helm isn’t wizard rock, isn’t meta-wizard rock, and is in fact the worst wizard rock album of all time because…(wait for it)… it isn’t wizard rock.

Now, if he’d just said Demons at the Helm is the worst wizard rock album of all time and left it at that, I wouldn’t have my panties in such a bunch right now. Opinions are opinions, they’re plentiful and diverse, and one guy’s opinion won’t affect the way I think about my music. Demons at the Helm isn’t a crowd-pleaser, and it wasn’t meant to be a crowd-pleaser. Demons at the Helm is a Matt-pleaser, and I remain quite pleased.

It’s the assertion that Demons at the Helm isn’t wizard rock or meta-wizard rock that has me riled up enough to write a blog at 9:30 in the morning (my usual 9:30am routine involves slowly waking up and wandering aimlessly about my apartment in my underpants).

Anyway, let’s get down to biznass. At some point along the way, wizard rock expanded past plot summaries and educated guesses as to how certain characters feel about certain events, situations, and other characters. Wizard rockers started writing songs about wizard rock itself, the greater HP fandom, J.K. Rowling, and other fun crap related to their own personal experiences. Eventually these songs were categorized (because humans have to categorize everything) as meta-wizard rock, or wizard rock that is about wizard rock. The best thing about this term is that it exists under the umbrella of wizard rock, such that a band can write a song about their wizard rock experience without a bunch of disgruntled people saying that song isn’t wizard rock. As a band centered around the point of view of the Whomping Willow, I really appreciate the flexibility.

Now, lemme back up for a moment and pose a question: Let’s say you’re listening to a song by a band called The Harry Potters. The song is called “I Luv U So Much Gurl.” Throughout this song the singer mentions a girl named Ginny, but he never mentions anything specific about Hogwarts, his own identity as Harry fucking Potter, or anything else related to anything besides his apparent “luv” for a “gurl” named Ginny. You would be able to make the leap in logic necessary to assume that the narrator of the song is Harry Potter and the “gurl” he “luvs” is Ginny Weasley, and that these characters are from the Harry Potter universe created by J.K. Rowling….. correct?

Lots of wizard rock is like that. Songwriters are clearly writing about Harry Potter’s world; they don’t need to mention that in every song to ensure that their listeners won’t get confused and start writing novella-length blogs about how their music lacks clear signifiers. Like in any narrative art form, if a songwriter can lead listeners to her point without spelling it out for them explicitly, she’s doing her job well.

Which begs the question: do I totally suck? Because if anyone who’s heard Demons at the Helm has failed to understand that it’s an album about my experiences in wizard rock, perhaps I need to reevaluate the album a bit and see where I went wrong. Let’s do that right now!!! :D :D :D

Don’t Let Me Explode:

My body, a cold machine, a metal corpse without a sheen; my heart is like a trampoline encased inside a tomb, and water falls over me. The coldest rain can’t revive me, and if a friend should call on me, I’ll crush him where he stands; but in this poor dumb suitor’s hand a poem I will lay. A simple, hopeful melody, a message to convey: If I could break the chains the bind me, I would walk with you, and chase the dreams I’ve kept away….

(translation: I’m the Whomping Willow. I’m chained to this existence as the magical tree that only moves when it’s hitting something, but deep down inside there’s a poem [read: song] in my heart. If only I could break these chains, I would pursue the dream of traveling and singing these songs and making my true voice heard.

Oh but wait, there is!

Gimme a guitar and a couple of beers,  and a couple of friends, a couple of years, I’ll be setting a flame to all my fears - I won’t even watch them burn! My heart’s beating fast and my mind is racing. Every minute I stay is a minute I’m wasting. Can’t describe how my body’s aching, but I gotta leave this town. Now I can’t stand the wait, I’m ready. On my sleeve I’ll wear my heart, across the sea to sing and make a brand new start, and I’ll shed my fears of fa-fa-falling apart.

Remember that time I released that song called Wizard Rock Heart Throb? Perhaps you didn’t see this coming, but Wizard Rock Heart Throb is what allows Demons at the Helm to exist within the framework of The Whomping Willows. In Heart Throb, I make mention of my band’s central concept: that the Whomping Willow is able to possess a muggle named Matt Maggiacomo, thus enabling the Willow to tour around the world and pursue his dream of writing songs and whatever. I also make mention of this in I Found A Loophole.

I return to this theme in Don’t Let Me Explode, as demonstrated above. Is it necessary for me to explain (once again) that the Willow is possessing the body of a muggle in order to make his dreams come true? I should hope not, because I’ve used that shtick at 450 shows now and it’s getting old. I leave it up to the listener to figure it out — and most listeners figured it out, go figure! When I wrote Don’t Let Me Explode, my intention was to bring the Whomping Willow off Hogwarts grounds (I do mention the castle walls in the second verse, in case you weren’t sure) and into the real world, without resorting to jokes about how I’m overweight.

Now, here’s the crazy thing about Demons at the Helm. Although I’m very much upfront about the fact that Demons is my own personal wizard rock experience, you could take me out of the equation completely and view this album as the Whomping Willow’s experience while possessing the body of a muggle named Matt Maggiacomo. This is because there’s really nothing on this album about anything besides what I’ve experienced as a wizard rocker, which means that you’re given absolutely no information about my (Matt Maggiacomo’s) past. The only background information you’re given is the beginning of Don’t Let Me Explode, in which I clearly state that I’m the Whomping Willow and I’m chained to my existence as such.

So really, at this point I’ve given you two choices: 1) You can take this album as the story of Matt Maggiacomo and his life as a wizard rocker, or 2) You can take this album as the story of the Whomping Willow possessing Matt Maggiacomo and becoming a wizard rocker now that he’s found a host body.

We’re Not In Hogwarts Anymore

I think it’s safe to say we’re not in Hogwarts anymore. We got a hundred-fifty kids lined up at the door.

And so forth. This song is clearly about touring in a wizard rock band. I mention Hogwarts as my origin, so again: you can take this as coming from Matt Maggiacomo’s point of view, or you can take it as coming from the Whomping Willow’s point of view. If it comes from Matt Maggiacomo’s point of view, then I’m talking about departing from the experience of being a reader of Harry Potter and pursuing the lifestyle of a touring wizard rocker. If it comes from the Whomping Willow’s point of view, then I’m talking about literally not being at Hogwarts anymore because I’ve successfully possessed the body of a muggle and I’m using him as a host body so I can tour.

From here, I lose the tree for a couple songs and focus entirely on the experience of touring in a wizard rock band. In Merch Girls Are Easy, I mention that I’m “going to rock my songs at a Harry Potter con.” How many non-wizard rock bands do you know that have played at Harry Potter cons? I can only think of one: Hank Green. I am not Hank Green, as much as that would be really awesome.

A Brief Repose:

This song makes no specific mention of anything related to wizard rock or Harry Potter or the Whomping Willow. However, it clearly continues the narrative that began with Don’t Let Me Explode. The narrator is on tour, and apparently he’s made some friends along the way. The first verse makes mention of Los Angeles and the Ventura Freeway. Any idea who I might be talking about? (WrockSnob: I’m talking about The Remus Lupins. Everybody else: You totally knew that, didn’t you!). The second verse mentions Pittsburgh, specifically the neighborhood of Edgewood, which is home to the Wizrocklopedia’s own Freya Fridy. Finally, the third verse mentions Providence, which is where I was living at the time I wrote this song. So you can take this to mean that I (Matt Maggiacomo) return to Providence for respite when I’m not touring in my wizard rock band, or you can take this to mean that the Whomping Willow not only possesses Matt’s body, he also freeloads at Matt’s place of residence (I’ll provide the answer shortly). Regardless, A Brief Repose is surrounded by an album’s worth of context clues that should allow you to conclude that I’m talking about touring in a wizard rock band. My only other band is The Jena Campaign, and TJC hasn’t toured since 2006.

All-Nighter:

Hagrid, come sit next to me and tell me what you believe, cause I don’t know what to believe, and I need some company. Hagrid, you help me to see the beauty in all that surrounds me, and how we all long to be free from the cold hands of destiny. Come take my hand. Give me some water. Help me to breathe. Help me replace the memories of what’s done me wrong, so I can move on.

This song certainly has a double-meaning, but on the surface it’s a deliberate move to re-center this album on the wizarding world of Harry Potter. I mention Hagrid and everything! If you own all of my albums, you know that I’ve positioned Hagrid as one of the Whomping Willow’s best friends. The other is Draco Malfoy. These are the two people with whom I thought the Whomping Willow would truly feel the greatest sense of mutual understanding if the Whomping Willow were a sentient being. Anyway, at the end of A Brief Repose, the narrator returns home (to Providence) to take a break. In the very next song, the Whomping Willow is back at Hogwarts chillaxing with his best friend Hagrid. Could it be that I deliberately returned Whompy’s host body to his own home before bringing the tree back to Hogwarts? Ayup. I’m not as dumb as I look.

Now we get to the real gray area of the album: the rest of the album. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of any specific mention of the tree after track 5, besides the title of track 6. Is it possible that this was deliberate? Of course!

All Bark, No Bite:

You could argue that this song has nothing to do with wizard rock, but you’d be wrong. Not only do I work a clever tree-pun into the title, but I also reference a character who showed up in a previous Whomping Willows song: The Girl From New York. It obviously didn’t work out with her. But there’s a new girl in town, and my inability to commit to a relationship with this new girl is the primary focus of this song. I’ve clearly shifted the focus to Matt Maggiacomo’s perspective — so either I’m just writing about myself as the WrockSnob seems to believe, OR: perhaps that muggle, while being possessed by the Whomping Willow, retains his ability to perceive what’s happening around him? Hmmm.

Watch Me Grow Older:

Okay, seriously. Tracks 2 through 4 cover touring extensively, so why include another song about being on the road in a wizard rock band? Well. If Matt’s beginning to break free from the periodic possession he’s subjected to, could it be that this is the first “tour song” that’s completely from his own perspective? Hmmmm!

Walk:

I’ve come to realize that I’m better off alone, to cover up these lies and face these demons on my own, but it’s a thin disguise as I lay in this rented bed. I can’t escape those eyes sending daggers through my head, and so I walk.

I try to be cool and follow the rules, then you say: (don’t walk away from me boy). I try to be smart and follow my heart, then you say: (don’t walk away from me boy). I try to be good, behave like I should, then you say: (don’t walk away from me boy). I try to safe and keep you away, then you say: (don’t walk away from me boy).

Funny, just a few songs ago I was singing about how Merch Girls Are Easy in a very celebratory fashion. Now I’m singing about how I’m tortured by temptation? What a fucking hypocrite! Unless…… could it be that I’ve broken out of the spell of being possessed by the Whomping Willow, and I’m feeling the guilt of past transgressions with the full force of my humanity?!

And just whose eyes am I talking about in that last line of the third verse? In the first verse I mention a voice calling my name. In the second verse I mention someone’s “shackles ‘round my wrists.” Hint: the person mentioned in the first and second verses is not the same person as the owner of those eyes in the third verse. First and second verses (and the don’t walk away from me, boy) = a lover I don’t truly want to be with. Third verse = the person I’m singing about in All Bark, No Bite, the person I’m slowly realizing I want to be with — if only I weren’t tied down to the lifestyle of a touring wizard rocker!

A Conversation With My Demons:

This song is about drinking. A lot. Also, the Demons that are at the Helm throughout this record finally make an appearance. I do mention the subject of All Bark, No Bite, albeit very briefly: “Should I flee from the feeling that I left you behind? Should I banish your memory from the jail of my mind?” Otherwise, it’s mostly me battling the urge to drown my conscience with alcohol. Although alcohol is clearly not the only demon I talk about on this album, the demon that shows up in the form of Mark Jennings’ beautiful voice wants me to keep drinking. This song concludes with:

Away with you demon for I must seek the truth. It lies not in a bottle or the embrace of the noose. No, the truth is recorded in a simple refrain, and its rhythm will keep me from straying again.

WrockSnob needed help with this, and if the WrockSNOB needs help with it, clearly everyone else must too. This song concludes with the solution to the problem that I’ve been talking about throughout the remainder of the song (and the remainder of the album!). I’m going to write a song, a simple song that’s filled with truth, and this song will keep me from returning to the darkness I’ve experienced throughout the course of the story I’ve been telling you.

The only question is: what song am I talking about? Could it be…. THE NEXT SONG ON THE ALBUM?!

A Heart Can Change:

Guess what? I fell in love with the girl I was talking about in All Bark, No Bite. More accurately, I finally admitted to myself that I’d been in love with her all along. And while I might still keep on drinking and traveling around the country in my wizard rock band and being a badass, I’ve finally found a way to make room for the one person who’s going to make me happy. And yes, that person is Lauren Fairweather, and she sings some pretty bangin’ backing vocals on the choruses and outro. Fuck yeah.

So. Is this album a story from beginning to end? Yes. Is everything at least somehow related to the Whomping Willow, wizard rock, and/or my experiences playing in a wizard rock band? Yes.

Is this album wizard rock? Yes.

Is this album meta-wizard rock? Yes.

Is this album a weird science fiction about a magical tree that possesses the body of a human and revels in the pleasures of human life, only to be booted by the human host body, who then completes his journey of self-actualization? Yes.

Is this album an autobiography? Yes.

So there you have it. Take it or leave it: either way, I’ll remain pleased with Demons at the Helm, and convinced that it has a place alongside every other wizard rock album that’s ever been released.

Thanks for reading!